A smidge of lavender, a skosh of rosemary and a few drops of essential oils. Say an incantation, and you have the making of something magical!
Is this witchcraft? No, it's Bitchcraft.
Kerry Colburn uses herbs and everyday objects for her hexes, but inspiration for concocting these spells came from personal experience.
"Turns out I annoy easier [than most]," she said. "And what I don’t like [is] when someone annoys me - I don’t want it to ruin my whole day. I want to get back at them quickly and move on."
Her spells don't aim to hurt anyone, it's more about - moving on.
"I think a lot of us, when something bugs us we stick with it all day," said Colburn. "We think, 'I should have said this,' 'I could have done that,' and that’s giving that annoying person more power than they deserve."
That's where Colburn's new book "Bitchcraft: Simple Spells For Everyday Annoyances" comes in.
For example, how about when you have an annoying co-worker, who emails you even when you're on vacation or have a day off?
Colburn has a spell for that.
"You need a piece of paper, glass of water, some salt and your co-worker's email address."
We happily supplied her with our host Gaard Swanson's.
"You're gonna fold this away from you, take the energy and put it away from you," she said. "You’re gonna drop it in this water and go ahead and put a pinch of salt on top."
Then flip to the appropriate page in the book.
Take a chill pill this ain’t brain surgery, we could all use a day off - especially me. Because you have bugged me and ruined my stay, on your next vacation it will rain every day.
So how about if you're dating someone and they're a terrible kisser?
"Grab your friends, maybe grab some wine and what you want to do is pick out a few pictures of people you think would be a better kisser than the one you're stuck with right now," said Colburn.
For this instance, we used Keanu Reeves, George Clooney and Brad Pitt. Aim high, right?
"So all you need to do for this spell is find your favorite lip pencil product and put that on and then you’re just gonna kiss your favorite, I’m partial to Brad, and I’m just gonna give him a big kiss and I am gonna say this spell:
I deserve a transporting kiss. I can do much better than this! By the time this week is through, I’ll be planting my lips somewhere new.
"Then you’re ready to pop a breath mint and find yourself a new kissing partner."
These fun tongue-in-cheek hexes just may help you turn the other cheek.
"The message of the book is that we all have the power to rise above the little things that bug us during the day and move on."