in partnership
I think it boils down to this: is it really the city that is the problem or is it the way in which us twenty-somethings have allowed digital dating and social media apps to effect our behaviors and how we treat each other? (Image: Karen Kirsch / Seattle Refined).

Opinion: Do you think Seattle is the best or worst city for singles?

About fifteen days ago I was surfing, because you know, I’m trying to stay informed and up-to-date on the news around the area. I came across this article, “Seattle is America’s worst city to find love, says national dating podcast.”

As a twenty-something single who has been boy-crazy since birth, this headline OBVIOUSLY piqued my interest.

I read the article, the claim coming from the national touring series hosted by “The Great Love Debate” that Seattle is one of, if not the worst city for singles searching for love.

Okay, singles. Are you sitting down?

To summarize, Brian Howie, the podcast host, says his podcast considered the opinions and demographic data from more than 92,000 singles who have attended the tour’s shows over the last five years, along with thousands more who listen to the podcast, in naming Seattle "the absolute worst place to find love in America.”

Listing the ten worst American cities to find love, Howie said Seattle was by far the worst. “Af all the places where the disconnect grew wider this year, Seattle’s grew the widest; leaving a gloomy puddle of aggravated women, socially-awkward men and rain water,” said Howie.

I want to clarify something to you Mr. Howie – it doesn’t rain THAT much here, okay?! Anyways.

Fast forward to this morning. My alarm goes off – I open Instagram. I do what I always do on Instagram, you know, scroll around and mind my own BID-NESS when an email pops into my inbox. The subject of this email is “Seattle is 2018’s 6th Best City for Singles.”

Was that the worst typo in the history of typos - or I did I read that wrong?! Nope. It definitely said "Best City" not "Worst City".


Wallethub, a data company who constantly does surveys of this sort (in fact, you've probably seen a ton of them on Refined) - considered five options when determining Seattle’s dating scene:

  1. The number of singles,
  2. Online dating opportunities,
  3. Mobile dating opportunities,
  4. Restaurants per capita, and
  5. Nightlife options per capita

Really? These are the signifiers of whether or not Seattle is a good city for dating? DATING APPS AND BARS?! Ayyyyy yi yiiii, that’s a bit grim isn’t it? These two different studies got me thinking, what is Seattle's dating vibe? Is it really the best, or the worst place to find love?

I like to think that I have a valuable opinion on the matter so move over Great Love Debate and Wallethub. Here is Gena’s analysis on dating in Seattle. Bear with me – I can get a bit theatrical (I like to say passionate) but people have told me its part of my charm *cue the twinkle tooth smile*

What ever happened to good, real and truthful conversation? Long walks on the beach (I’m kidding - kind of)? Whatever happened to taking risks and being unafraid of rejection? Why is it always crafted direct messages and left-on-reads and “I will wait an hour to text back as he made me wait 30 minutes,” kind of thing? Why is it considered embarrassing to have feelings for someone and to downplay those feelings to anyone who listens? WHAT HAPPENED TO GUSHING ABOUT FALLING IN LOVE?!

And to be honest, I am guilty of all these things. I think it comes with the territory of being a millennial who has cultivated romantic relationships in a digital age. I’m guilty of game-playing and wearing my heart literally anywhere but my sleeve, but hey, I’m only a human!

Has dating become so pigeonholed and one-dimensional that we only have one idea about what it looks like? Is this what I am destined for?! Tinder dates and small talk over mediocre happy hours when you both know eventually – one of you will ghost the other?

Maybe I’m jaded. Maybe I’m a romantic – but is it too much to ask for some damn directness and honesty from the person you are dating?

I digress.

I think it boils down to this: is it really the city that is the problem, or is it the way we have allowed digital dating and social media apps to effect our behaviors and how we treat each other?

I wish I could get a group of actively dating singles in a room together and just have an open and candid conversation about what people think about dating in Seattle. Is the Seattle Freeze really a thing? Do you think women are actually aggravated by Seattle men’s perceived shyness? Or do you think Seattle is conducive to a healthy dating environment?

I recently had a conversation with a friend who just moved to Seattle from Texas. She noted that every Seattleite she sees on the street has their ear buds in and their heads down. I asked her why she thought that was and she said it was, “either to hide their faces from the rain or maybe to avoid human connection.”

Maybe it comes down to just that – we are afraid to connect with one another. I don’t know, I’m not a love doctor, I’m just Gena.

In the meantime, maybe we take the ear buds out and keep our eyes up.

Let me know what you think – are you Team Worst of Team Best?